


Eighty Percent Sheer Dumb Luck

by BewareTheIdesOfMarch



Category: Kuroko no Basuke | Kuroko's Basketball
Genre: Drabble Collection, F/M, M/M, Prompt Fic, accidental dick pics, aomine's burrito, lots of general silliness, no that is not an innuendo, rated teen for swearing and stuff I guess
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-02-21
Updated: 2015-03-04
Packaged: 2018-03-14 11:23:40
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 7
Words: 4,480
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3408782
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/BewareTheIdesOfMarch/pseuds/BewareTheIdesOfMarch
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>A collection of drabbles and short fic based off of prompts.  I am incapable of taking things seriously.</p>
<p>"Does Kagami read?"</p>
<p>"I’ve seen him check out books."</p>
<p>"You’ve seen him holding books, but have you ever seen him <i>read?"</i></p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Prompt: _I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me_

It was not uncommon knowledge that, after several consecutive matches, Seirin’s favorite freshman duo was exhausted.  The surprising thing was just how loopy the adrenaline crash made them.

The two of them had been banished to the back of the bus because they couldn’t stop giggling at a joke that neither of them could explain to the rest of the team.  The second-years were all grouped together at the front, ignoring the strange sounds of the usually fairly stoic Kuroko snickering at something Kagami had just muttered directly into his ear.  The other first-years were not having as much luck letting the strange behavior go.

"What do you think they’re talking about?"

"I dunno, basketball probably.  Do they ever talk about anything else?"

"Kuroko’s on the library committee with me, sometimes we talk about books."

"Does Kagami read?"

"I’ve seen him check out books."

"You’ve seen him holding books, but have you ever seen him _read?”_

"What sort of question is that?  Besides, they’re definitely talking about basketball.  I think Kuroko’s mocking Midorima’s shot now."

"Oh yeah, you’re right."

"…if they sit any closer, Kuroko is going to be on Kagami’s lap."

"They can’t be talking _just_ about basketball.”

Kagami started to laugh now, his chuckles making it all the way up to the captain and the coach who were deep in conversation about what was probably some important managerial stuff.

"You’ll need to be taller if you want to take Midorima on in a fist-fight."  Kagami laughed again, knocking gently against Kuroko’s shoulder.

"I don’t need to be taller, I bet I could just trip him."

"No, he’s got a huge size advantage.  He could probably shoot you across the room."

"He’d have to catch me first."

"What you really need is something to ride in on.  If you were on a horse or something the two of you would probably be the same height."

"I don’t want a horse."

"Well it’s not like you can ride Nigou into battle."

"I want a battle ostrich."

Kagami laughed again, tipping his head backwards so he could lay it on the top of the seat back.  Kuroko prodded him in the ribs.

"Get me a battle ostrich so I can finally defeat Midorima."

"Oi, oi, stop poking me."  Kagami grabbed Kuroko’s hand to stop the insistent prodding.  "I don’t see what’s in it for me.  Where would I even find a battle ostrich?"

Kuroko settled his head somewhere in the area of Kagami’s armpit and closed his eyes.  “Get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me.” 

Kawahara made gagging noises and Kagami turned bright red.

"You’re so embarrassing," he muttered, jostling Kuroko with his elbow.  There was no response.  Kagami looked down to see his partner already fast asleep, plans to take down the Generation of Miracles’ best shooter already forgotten.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It's been scientifically proven that if you send me texts from tfln as prompts I am 7x more likely to write you things.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Prompt: _Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet._

"Kagami-kun."  Kuroko stood in front of his desk, his expression unreadable.  Kagami bolted upright, standing so quickly that his chair clattered to the floor and his desk rocked.

"I HAVE TO GO ASK IZUKI-SENPAI A QUESTION ABOUT OUR PRACTICE GAME NEXT WEEK," he yelled and sprinted out of the room.

Kuroko was left staring at a Kagami-shaped space.  He blinked once, then twice, the image of Kagami’s firetruck blush burned onto his retinas.  Behind him he heard some of his classmates titter.  He shook himself and moved to take his place in the seat behind Kagami’s.  He would wait, Kagami couldn’t avoid him forever.

The resident basketball idiot stumbled back into the classroom and took his seat mere seconds before the bell rang, carefully avoiding eye contact with Kuroko and ignoring their teacher’s look of disapproval.  He sat ramrod straight in his desk, eyes glued to the front of the room, and when the lunch bell rang he was out of the classroom before Kuroko could even stand up.

Kuroko calmly made his way to their usual meeting place, where they routinely ate lunch with the other first-years, but only Kawahara was there.  Kuroko waved off the invitation to sit and, slightly less calmly, made his way to the coach’s classroom, where the upperclassmen usually convened.  Kiyoshi smiled at him and gestured for him to join them, but only frowned and shook his head when Kuroko asked if they’d seen Kagami.

"Did you two fight?"  Hyuuga raised an eyebrow, turning to listen in on Kiyoshi and Kuroko.  "I’m sorry, I haven’t seen him yet today."

"He’s been avoiding me all morning," Kuroko said, the frustration in his voice surprising the second-years.  "We haven’t argued… _yet.”_

"Do you need us to corner him for you?" the coach butted in.

"No.  I think it would be best if I resolved the problem myself."

"Make sure you do that.  Don’t let _whatever this is_ affect your playing.”  She glared at him, her ominous aura causing all of the players to instinctively flinch away.  “If two of my starters are unable to be in the same room as each other because of something petty, then the two of you are going to be doing twice as much training until you sort it out.”  She started cracking her knuckles and Kuroko could feel himself break out into a cold sweat.  It suddenly became much more urgent for him to locate and beat some sense into his partner.

Kuroko thanked them for their ‘advice’ (if it could really be called that) and hurried out of the room.  The fear of Coach Aida propelled him in the direction of the roof, one of the last possible hangouts for his wayward partner.  The upperclassmen watched him go.  Or rather, they watched him about halfway to the classroom door where a group of girls passed in front of him and, in typical Kuroko fashion, he disappeared.

"They’re going to be fine," Kiyoshi said, a sappy smile on his face.  Hyuuga slapped the back of his head.

"Wipe that grin off, they’re not some silly shoujo couple."  Izuki, Tsuchida, and Koganei all turned in perfect synchronization and gave him a _look._

"Okay," he amended, "They’re _probably_ not some shoujo couple.  And even if they were, it’s not like they’d notice, all either of them ever thinks about is basketball.”

Mitobe’s phone dinged and when he opened the message he let out a soft huff and a small smile.  Koganei leaned over his shoulder to read it and snorted violently.

"Maybe we should check on them, just in case," he grinned, jerking his head in the direction of the door.  Mitobe nodded and stood, and by some unseen command the rest of the second-year basketball players rose as well.

"It’s not really spying if we’re doing it for the good of the team as a whole, right?"

"Definitely."  There were nods all around.

By the time they got to the door that opened up onto the roof, there were only minutes of the lunch period left.  Izuki put his hand on the doorknob and motioned for everyone to keep quiet.  He cracked the door and they all crowded in, only to hear the pretty much the opposite of what they were expecting.

"YOU CAN’T ACCIDENTALLY TEXT SOMEONE PICTURES OF YOUR DICK AND THEN EXPECT THEM NOT TO WANT AN EXPLANATION!"

_"You weren’t supposed to get those, I’m really sorry, Kuroko-"_

"NO.  NO, I AM NOT HAVING THIS.  WHO WERE THE PICTURES FOR, _HMM?_   IF NOT ME, THEN WHO?

”..”

"COME ON, WE’VE DANCED AROUND THIS LONG ENOUGH."

_"TheymighthavebeenforyoubutIdidn’tmeantosendthemIswear!"_

"…"

"…"

"What?"

"I SAID THAT THEY MIGHT HAVE BEEN FOR YOU, YOU KNOW, EVENTUALLY, BUT I NEVER MEANT TO SEND THEM AND IT’S ALL TATSUYA’S FAULT BECAUSE HE ASKED TO BORROW MY PHONE TO TEXT MURASAKIBARA SOMETHING AND WHEN I GOT IT BACK IT WAS SAYING SOMETHING ABOUT A PICTURE FILE BEING SENT AND THEN YOU TEXTED BACK WITH ALL THOSE QUESTION MARKS AND I LOOKED THROUGH THE MESSAGES AND SAW WHAT HE DID AND THEN I PANICKED."

Slowly, Izuki closed the door.  He looked back at his teammates, their faces frozen in various states of surprise.

"I think they can handle this one on their own."

They descended the stairs in silence, oblivious to all sounds but the muffled shouting behind them.

The first to speak was Koganei.

 _"But why did he have dick-pics on his phone if he was never going to send them?"_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> You might notice that Kagami is a total dweeb. This is a true fact that cannot be disputed. Like Koganei, I also do not know what he was planning to do with the dick pics.


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Prompt: _The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said “Is that your real face? Stopped him dead._

_"What did you say to me, you fucking pansy?"_   Kagami looked up from where he was watching the debate of the century go down between Koganei and Furihata over which song they were going to sing next.  Across the room, an incredibly angry patron was taking off his coat and rolling up his sleeves, shaking with anger.

_"I’ll beat you into next week, you hear me?"_   The angry man was facing away from the Seirin table, blocking whoever it was who’d pissed him off so much from Kagami’s view.  Izuki sauntered back to the booth with an armful of drinks, briefly breaking up the argument over whether anyone was worthy of performing Beyonce and, if so, why it wouldn’t be Furihata.

"Someone’s not having a good night," Izuki grinned, jerking his head in the direction of the increasingly loud patron while trying not to spill the drinks.  Kagami grabbed some from him, sliding them down the table towards Mitobe and Kiyoshi.  "That guy needs to chill and get back to his karaoke, he can’t possibly be a worse singer than Hyuuga so there’s no need to get so worked up."

"I heard that," Hyuuga grumbled, swiping Kiyoshi’s drink from him and taking a swig.

"Beyonce is for everyone!" Furihata snapped, quickly returning to the topic at hand.

"Beyonce is only for those who can do her justice!  You, my dear kouhai, are incapable of reproducing the glory that is the queen."  Koganei drained half of his glass in one go and leaned forward in the universal pose for ‘and another thing’, but before he could let lose his final attack on Furihata’s singing he was interrupted by Kagami.

"Didn’t Kuroko go with you to get drinks?"

Izuki paused and looked at the pointedly empty space to his left.

_"-and I’ll tell you one thing, you little blue-haired freak, when I’m done with you even your own parents won’t be able to recognize ya!"_

As one, the Seirin basketball team looked across the karaoke bar to see the very angry man being physically restrained by his companion while he screamed obscenities at an impassive Kuroko.

"Kagami!" Riko barked.

"Yeah?"

"Go get that moron before he’s flattened!"

"What?  Why do I have to go?"  He looked around for support, only to see everyone else looking at him just as intently as the coach was.  "I don’t want to get punched by some asshole."

"He’s _your_ partner,” Hyuuga said, “so he’s _your_ responsibility.”  There were nods all around and Kagami groaned.  He slid out of the booth and started making his way across the room to where Kuroko seemed to be watching his assailant turn purple from rage with interest.

"Don’t get us kicked out, Bakagami!" Riko warned him.  He flipped them off without looking back.  The screams of anger seemed to be getting even louder, and as Kagami approached the scene Kuroko held up a hand to silence the other man.

"Is that your real face?" he asked, in that totally flat tone of his.

Everything froze.  The very angry man choked and gaped, his face turning an even more improbable shade of purple.

Kagami snorted.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I feel silly posting a whole bunch of chapters in one go, but I want to get these out of my drafts. They're older so just bear with it until I get the new stuff up.


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Prompt: _Just leave me ALONE._

"Aomine-kun."

"Just leave me _alone.”_

"Aomine-kun."

"Tetsu, I swear to god, if you say _anything_ I’m going to kick your ass.”

_"Aomine-kun."_

"Shut up.  Just… shut up, okay?  I know- _don’t look at me like that I just said that I know!”_

Kuroko didn’t even bother to respond this time.  His gaze moved pointedly from Aomine, to the numerous shopping bags in his arms, to the changing room curtain, and then back to his ex-teammate.  He twitched an eyebrow.

"Fuck you, it’s not what you think," Aomine snarled defensively, shuffling the purchases in his arms.

"Okay, I think I’ve decided!  What do you think?"  Momoi tugged the curtain aside and stepped out, spinning to show off her outfit.  Aomine turned red and looked away, grumbling when Kuroko’s elbow jabbed into his side.

Kuroko sighed.  What a moron.  “You look lovely, Momoi-san,” he filled in, unabashedly stepping on Aomine’s foot.  Aomine whipped his head back around to snap at him, but got an eyeful of Momoi instead.  He made an interesting choking noise and his blush darkened.

"Testu-kun!  I didn’t think we’d run into you today, are you at the mall all by yourself?"

Kuroko shrugged and said something about his teammates all going out to look at new practice shoes together while Aomine muttered a string of cuss words under his breath.

"…dammit, _fucking hell-“_

Momoi frowned at him.  Shit, maybe he’d been louder than he’d thought.  “If you really don’t like the swimsuit you could just _say so_ , honestly,” she crossed her arms over her chest and pouted, “I did ask for your opinion.”

"No.  It’s fine."  Aomine said shortly, turning away again to avoid eye contact.

"You hate it!"

"I don’t."

"You do, don’t lie to me!"

"You look **_FINE._** "  He yelled the last word, his entire face reddening again and his ‘too cool to give a shit’ attitude flying out the window.

"…oh."  Momoi looked away too, her face an equally pink color.

Kuroko looked between the two of them.  A flustered Aomine laden with shopping bags that certainly weren’t his own, and a blushing Momoi clad only in a black swimsuit- both refusing to look at the other.  He sighed.

"I’ll just go take it off then," -Aomine made a strangled sound- "and we can go home."  She made for the changing room, leaving the two boys standing together, blanketed in a thick silence.

Kuroko caved first.  He had a point to make, after all.

"Aomi-"

"Shut.  _The fuck._ ** _Up.”_**

Kuroko sighed again.  Somebody owes him compensation for putting up with _years_ of uncomfortable tension.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Today I learned that the timezone I live in is exactly seven hours behind Sweden.


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Prompt: _"This is all your fault."_

"This is all YOUR fault," Furihata whined, dropping his head onto Kuroko’s shoulder.

"Please get off of me."

"Akashi won’t stop texting meee _eeeee.”_

"I don’t see why this is my problem and I really don’t care, Furihata-kun."

"You’re the one who gave him my phone number, which means it’s your fault."

There was silence from Kuroko.  Furihata raised his head off of Kuroko in order to make the appropriate facial expressions to convey his utter betrayal at the situation.

"Stop pouting."  Furihata pouted harder.  Kuroko frowned slightly.  "If it bothers you that much then you should do something about it.  He’ll stop messaging you if you ask him to."

Now it was Furihata’s turn to be silent.

“ _Do_ you want him to stop texting you?” Kuroko couldn’t keep the tinge of curiosity out of his voice.

"…Maybe."

_So it’s not a yes?_   Kuroko examined Furihata carefully.  He had his phone out on the table next to him in blatant violation of the library rules, and was picking nervously at his fingernails under Kuroko’s scrutiny.

"Furihata-kun, what do these messages say exactly?"  Furihata looked around the library, as if to make sure that the other people there (of which there were exactly zero) weren’t listening in.

"Here."  He pushed his phone towards Kuroko and dropped his head onto the desk so he wouldn’t have to watch his teammate go through his texts.

From: **Akashi-san** ****  
Yesterday, 2:46pm  
 _If you did more speed training you would be a bigger threat on the court._

Yesterday, 5:32 pm  
 _Make sure to eat something healthy after practice._

Yesterday, 5:32 pm  
 _Do not stop by a convenience store before dinner._

Yesterday, 5:33 pm  
 _I know you are fond of those cookies that come in the red packaging, but they are not an appropriate post-training snack._

Yesterday, 7:01 pm  
 _If you haven’t changed the laces on your shoes since you bought them, I highly suggest that you do that soon._

Yesterday, 10:28 pm  
 _Goodnight._

Today, 6:30 am  
 _Good morning._

Today, 8:42 am  
 _Do not run away from your neighbor’s dog, it will think that chasing you is a game._

Today, 12:49 pm  
 _If you have time, I would like someone to accompany me to a movie this weekend._

Today, 1:05 pm  
 _Tell Tetsuya that his Aomine replacement is going to need tutoring to learn all the kanji he doesn’t know or he is going to get kicked off of the team for poor grades._

Today, 1:06 pm  
 _Please phrase it nicely though._

Today, 1:08 pm  
 _It would be a shame if our teams didn’t get to play again because your ace is too stupid to be allowed on the court._

Kuroko’s brow furrowed more and more as he scrolled through Furihata’s messages.  Furihata slowly turned red and covered his face with his hands.  Kuroko shut the phone and placed it next to its uncomfortable owner.

Neither one spoke.

"Are you going?"  Furihata jumped at the sound of Kuroko’s voice.

"G-going where?"

"To the movie."  When Furihata continues to look confused, Kuroko continued.  "He invited you to go to a movie with him."

"I…  I haven’t decided," Furihata said weakly.  He sat up and looked pleadingly at his friend.  "But Kuroko _ooo,_ what should I do about all the messages?”

"I’d suggest answering them once in a while."

Furihata whimpered.  “I was afraid you’d say that.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Tbh Kuroko is kind of an asshole. An asshole who gives his friends' phone numbers out to other people because he thinks it might be kind of funny.


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Prompt: _"I think I'm going to be sick."_

Kuroko eyed the creation in front of him.  It was violently green and red, and he almost suspected that it might start oozing towards him at any second.

"I’m sorry Kagami-kun, but I don’t celebrate Christmas."

Kagami looked up from across the table, where he was busily digging into his own plate of what was probably enough food coloring to cause temporary blindness.

"I don’t either.  What’s the problem?"

Kuroko prodded the sludge on his plate gingerly with a fork.  “I’m going to be sick if I eat this.”

"It’s just frosting, you can scrape it off if you only want to eat the cake." 

Kuroko leaned a little farther away from the desert on his plate.

"Here," Kagami slid it towards himself and deftly used his fork to take off the outer coating of sugar and food dye.  He transferred the sticky mess to his own plate and pushed the now naked cake back to his partner.  "It’s just plain cake underneath."

The vanilla sponge cake was stained from prolonged exposure to its own frosting and looked dubiously soggy and more than a little pathetic.  One side had given up to the forces of gravity and was crumbling slowly.  It wobbled threateningly at Kuroko and he felt his stomach try to back-flip away from the menace.

"Still no?"  Kuroko looked up just in time to see Kagami scrape up the extra frosting and stick it into his mouth.  He watched him chew and swallow it in what felt like slow motion.  A feeling of disgust rose in his throat, rendering speech impossible.

Kuroko cleared his throat twice and took a steadying breath.  “I think that it would be best if I did not try to eat this.”

Kagami shrugged.  “Alright then, I guess that’s more for me.”  He took Kuroko’s plate and ate half of the offending cake in one bite.  Kuroko had to stop himself from visibly shuddering.

_This is it.  This is where you’ve chosen to place your affections.  Here he is._

Kagami sucked his drink noisily through his straw and licked green goop off of his fork.  He grinned apologetically at Kuroko.

"Sorry you didn’t like it.  Do you wanna make a milkshake stop at Maji before we head home?"

"You are going to be buying it for me."

"Of course I am," he muttered, "it’s a date, isn’t it?"  They both stood up and he stuck his hand out for Kuroko, leading the way out of the bakery. 

Kuroko smiled.

_There he is._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> That weird dress meme was goddamn crazy. (Does it really even count as a meme? What are we calling it, the dress crisis? The great dress meltdown of 2015? The curse of the color-changing dress?)


	7. Chapter 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Prompt: _Got a snapchat from Momoi-san last night showing you sobbing about a burrito on the floor with Sakurai-san in the background trying not to laugh his ass off._

Aomine had seen the picture.  Oh, there was no doubt that he had seen the picture.  He had seen the picture so many times that, if he had been artistically inclined in any way, he would have been able to paint that fucker in perfect detail.  It might as well be burned onto his retinas at this point because no matter what he does he is never going to be rid of it.

The picture was a comedic work of art.  The lighting and the angle were perfect, the expressions were startlingly genuine, and the caption (the goddamn _caption_ ) Satsuki had put on it tied everything up in a neat little bow of hilarity.  Kise laughed so hard he nearly threw up when he’d opened the snap.  Kuroko had taken a screenshot of it, printed it off, and put the picture in a little tacky frame that he made sure to set out whenever he knew Aomine was coming over.  Murasakibara had made the effort to actually reply to the initial message.  It was that good.

The actual incident hadn’t been funny in any way, if you asked Aomine.  Ryou agreed with him that the circumstances surrounding it had been tragic.  How dare his so-called “friends” mock him in his time of mourning!  It was downright disrespectful for Satsuki to take that picture, and he was sure to remind her of it every time it came up.  Would you take snapchats of a funeral procession?  Of course not.  Aomine was offended that they took his grief so lightly.  It was fucking rude, that’s what it was.

The night of the incident had been nothing out of the ordinary.  Satsuki had begged Ryou to come over so he could attempt to teach her how to make some simple snacks for the team, Aomine had been dragged along as their official taste-tester, Satsuki’s parents had promptly announced their intentions to eat out, and the three of them had been left home with no supervision and the phone number for the poison control hotline taped to the fridge.  Really, it was a ritual they carried out about once a month.  As per the precedent set by past visits, Ryou refused to coddle Satsuki ( _“She has to learn from experience!”_ ), Satsuki ended up with a neatly plated but utterly inedible dish ( _“If you won’t even eat it how do you know it’s inedible?  I think I really got it right this time!”_ ), and Aomine called for takeout before they were even done cooking ( _“Can you two shut up?  I’m trying to order over here.”_ ).

On that particular night things had gone so poorly that Ryou had stepped in twice to keep the kitchen from going up in flames.  Aomine had ordered his own food earlier than usual, and he’d set out the burrito that had been delivered on a plate in full view of the other two.  It was meant to mock them.  Let them see what they were missing out on.  Aomine would sit over at the table with his perfect burrito displayed in front of him while they sweated and swore over whatever it was that they were making.

The more he looked at it, the more he realized that his burrito actually _was_ perfect.  The tortilla bulged in all the right places, it gave off a delightful aroma, and it was still warm to the touch.  Aomine could gaze lovingly at if forever - longer even, because he could feel the envy being directed at him from the kitchen.  This was going to be a one man-one burrito love affair.

Over in the kitchen, the clattering and cursing had died down and the familiar sounds of cupboard doors opening and closing and dishes moving around had started.  Aomine deemed it safe to enter and gloat about his meal-to-be more publicly.  He picked up his plate with his perfect burrito and walked lazily over to where Satsuki and Ryou were attempting to scrape something out of a pan and onto their own plates. 

"So," he said with a smirk, "What’s for dinner?"

As Ryou turned towards him, probably to apologize for the mess (or the smell, or the wait, or some other slight that Aomine couldn’t care less about because all of his attention was focused on this filled tortilla that he had received from the gods), Aomine lifted his burrito off of its plate and took a huge, self-satisfied bite out of it.  Ryou grimaced at the sight, and started to say something before Aomine cut him off.

"No, don’t actually tell me.  I don’t care.  I just want you both to know that this burrito is better than anything you scrape off of the bottom of that pan."  Burrito filling flew out of his mouth as he spoke and both Satsuki and Ryou took a step back.

"That’s disgusting, don’t talk with your mouth full," Satsuki snapped, gesturing angrily with her spatula.

"Yes, _mom.”_   He smirked and took a second bite, exaggerating his chewing motion especially to piss her off.

She turned back to her blackened pan of whatever and resumed scraping with a vengeance.  Ryou squeezed past where he was leaning casually on the counter and rummaged around in the cabinets for something.  Aomine went in for the third bite, but, before his mouth could make contact with his dinner, tragedy struck.

It happened almost in slow motion.  The spatula stuck under a particularly tough spot and Satsuki lost her grip.  It sprang free from her hand and spiraled through the air, its trajectory as prefect as one of Midorima’s shots.  Aomine barely looked up in time to see it smack into his plate, but he couldn’t have missed how it collided with his chin, sending him reeling to the side.  All Aomine could do was watch as his burrito slipped from his grasp as the spatula careened into his face.

The burrito hit the floor with an ugly squishing sound, meat and cheese and beans and rice and all the good things in the world flying out of the tortilla.  It was like a crime scene.

Aomine dropped to his knees beside his fallen food.  Ryou was making choking noises somewhere behind him, but he paid him no attention.  He stared in shock at the filling splattered across the kitchen, the empty tortilla limp and torn, and the murder weapon lying almost innocently among the wreck.  He tried to pick up the remains of the tortilla with shaking hands only to find that it had ripped down the middle, leaving it totally useless.

Aomine started to feel a little choked up.

He caught sight of some of the beans that had flown far enough to stick to Satsuki’s shoes.

His eyes began to prickle.

"She was so young," he muttered in a hoarse voice.  A tear rolled down his cheek.  The choking noises coming from Ryou increased in volume.

Satsuki’s phone flashed.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey finally something newer that I'm not kind of embarrassed of. Nice going, me. If you can come up with a good caption for the picture I will owe you 1 filled prompt, to be completed some time in the unknowable future. Or you could probably just send me prompts anyways ngl. (I prefer dialogue or just straight up tfln quotes nudge nudge wink wink.)


End file.
